Thursday, October 29, 2009

where do i stand? (Part 2)

I learnt an interesting lesson on letting go. Its not enough if you only let go, u need to also move on... ;-)

If only u be in peace with the past that you can properly move on though... I know - so complicating but when given some thought, makes a lot of sense.

where do i stand?

The truth is - Kawan is back.

I dont know whether he is back for good or just for a ride. I've tried thinking about it, but now, I'm just too tired... Too mind boggling.

In Feb 2007, I met Kawan at a friend's friend's party. Our relationship was an adventure by itself. We were as different as night and day; at the same time, our fundamentals were the same.

By the time December 2008 came along, we were beginning to feel the brunt of the relationship. There were so many uncertainty - job was taking a toll, family and friends (functions, birthdays, farewells, obligatory visits) were all eating up our time. Having to deal with all this in the highly stressful positions that we were in eventually led to arguments. Some were your regular I-said-this-and-you-said-that arguments, and some were a full-fledged tiring, straining, long long arguments. Being as different as we were, I thought given some thought and time, things would get better. If all things were good, taking some time off away from everything else and talking things through should solve all problems right?

I was wrong. Early January 2009, he said he needed time off. *gasp*
He needed to sort out what he wanted and where he was heading in life.

A month passed by; a month that was so difficult for me. But one thing that was clear in that one month is the amount of people who cared and was there to support me. I have a whole list of people to thank; and that only means that I am blessed. Blessed with family and friends who sometimes dropped everything they were doing to come pass me a tissue.

Thosh was consistently there for me. She met me up after work, sometimes more often than necessary just to make sure I was ok. She also would drag me along for all HER party invites so that I can meet new people (which I did and became really good friends with) and better able to move on. She would also entertain all my late night messages, whining about how unfair life was. Looking back, I honestly do not know what I would have done if I hadn't had her around.

Tansri was a darling as well. The first weekend I was single again, he went shoe shopping with me on a Friday night. I know shoe shopping with a girl is generally a pain for most guys, and most guys would only do it because they HAD to follow their girlfriends. But darling Tansri put aside all weird stares and painstakingly followed me into every shoe shop in Bangsar! And he never once complained. He actually picked a couple of pairs for me to try on! He stayed back in KL that weekend. We went for lunch, massages and at night, when he had to go out (yes, he has a life) he asked me whether I would be ok. How sweet...

That Friday on my first single week, Homie had his birthday bash. And after partying the night away in Cyna Bar, and when we got back, I felt crappy and impossibly alone. Sensing something amiss, Homie came into my room, finding me close to tears. He gave me the biggest longest hug, telling me it is all gonna be alright. It was his big day, but there he was, consoling me, getting tears and mascara on his white shirt...

These are only some of many stories of me being blessed to have such lovely people around me. The one thing that I got from the break up is the fact that I was so loved. I knew my true friends. =)

Friday, October 23, 2009

way back into love...

from Music and Lyrics

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

I am also trying to find my way back into love... But love has hung up a no entry sign at the entrance! Hehe... ;-)

Friday, October 9, 2009

Stepping Stones - School Year End Program 2010

To all those who are feeling generous again!

For those who are interested to donate you may directly contact Ms Mary tel:0322602290, Mr Johnson tel:0163858161 , or Suresh K tel:0122592290.

Address of the home
Stepping Stones Living Center Sdn. Bhd , 111, Jalan Tanjong 12, Taman Seputih 58000 Kuala Lumpur

Facebook Group
Stepping Stones Living Center